Whether you just found out you’re pregnant, you’re two weeks postpartum, or you’re in the throes of motherhood, one question always seems to come up:

DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?

It’s a simple question, but it’s not an easy one for many of us to answer. If you’re wondering “How the heck do I answer that?” then I’ve got you covered.

But first, let’s check in with yourself and ask why this question feels like . . . a lot.

Be honest with yourself

Alright, it’s honesty hour. What’s your immediate response when someone asks, “Do you need anything?” How does it make you feel?

Do you immediately respond with, “Nah, I’ve got this!”?

Maybe you fall right into their arms with a resounding “YES” but you’re so overwhelmed you’re not even sure what could be helpful.

Or, maybe, you turn and run the other way, hoping to avoid it at all costs.

Considering that in different times of my life I have responded in all three ways, I’m fairly confident that I can relate to whatever your immediate response is.

It’s OK to Ask for Help! Try This:

There’s no denying that this can be a loaded question.

Do I really need help? Will they be annoyed? What if they say no to what I ask?

These are all common and valid fears. But here at She Might, we don’t let fear rule our decision-making process, so let’s try something together, real quick.

Think about why the question and fill in the blank:

Hearing “Do you need anything?” makes me feel ________

Now, close your eyes and imagine your best friend or sister.

If she asked you for help, what would you say?

Chances are, you immediately said yes. But maybe you don’t even know how to feel or aren’t sure what could be considered helpful. No matter the case, the list below is for you.

Here are 7 different categories to ask for help as well as phrases you can use to make it a little less scary.

Research

“Could you help me research OB/GYNs in my area? It feels like too much right now, but I know I need to find someone.”

Research like this can be overwhelming. Invite someone to share this task with you. Who knows? Maybe they’ll have a great recommendation!

Childcare

“Could you take my kids to the park so I can get some laundry done?”

Put on a podcast, and pick up where you left off 4 days ago. Breathe while you’re at it.

“I’m feeling behind on work. Could you watch the kids so I can get a few things done?”

Allowing someone to help you refocus on a priority can feel good and set you up for greater success both at home and in the workplace.

Pregnancy or postpartum recommendations

“Where do I find cute maternity clothes?” or “What are some post-birth necessities?”

A response like this gives insight into what would be most helpful for you at the moment.

Monetary help

“A Target gift card sounds nice” or “Can you help me make a registry?”

Sometimes retail therapy can be a good thing to get you out of the house.

On the other hand, asking for monetary gifts is difficult. Asking for help with a registry is another way to signal your needs are currently over your budget.

Hanging out and keeping busy

“I just need to go do something. When are you free for lunch?”

No baby talk, no “future plans” mentioned. Just you, a friend, and some good food. Maybe you’ll see a movie, too?

Food

“I’m too tired to cook. Doordash would be nice.”

People are almost always happy to give food—and we’re always happy to receive it!

I don't know where to start, but YES

“Honestly? Yes, but I have no clue what help looks like right now. I’m just really overwhelmed.”

If they truly want to help, they’ll figure it out. Or, you can look above at the list and find a phrase, pair it with something you enjoy, and make it work for you!

Don’t be afraid to say “yes”

These phrases are specific, but that’s because I want them to give you the confidence to say YES next time someone asks, “Do you need anything?”

No matter what stage in life you find yourself in, it’s OK to ask for help.

You can be strong and accept help. They’re not mutually exclusive! Voicing your needs can help you take back the control, focus, and strength you need to move forward.