Erin Monnin
How’s your stress level? If you say anything other than “low,” it’s time to find a better headspace. Without good habits to fall back on, stress and anxiety from unexpected changes can quickly rob you of peace of mind.
I’m no stranger to stress. I suffer from an anxiety disorder I can trace back to grade school. Until a few years ago, I thought I was alone in my experiences. However, the National Institute of Mental Health estimates that nearly a third of people in the United States experience an anxiety disorder at some point!1 Unfortunately, many people don’t know how to relieve stress and anxiety — they simply press on and hope it goes away.
It wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I learned how to relieve stress and anxiety using simple habits. I needed to make peace of mind easier to achieve, because it’s impossible to avoid every curveball life throws.
These are five methods I’ve used to regain mental and emotional control in the midst of change and overwhelm. Experiment with what best complements your lifestyle and personality! These practices take very little time, because—let’s face it—we’re all busy. At the end, I’ve included a challenge that takes a little more time but offers an ever greater opportunity for rest.
Practice Deep Breathing (2-10 minutes)
Deep breathing releases tension throughout your body and brings your focus onto one thing: your breath. Pause what you’re doing and set a timer for 2, 5, or 10 minutes. Now close your eyes, inhale through your nose, and exhale out your mouth. Repeat this until the timer goes off.
My mind is often in a million places at once, which causes stress and anxiety to take root. If I replace all those racing thoughts with one focus, the rest of my body usually relaxes.
My mind is often in a million places at once, which causes stress and anxiety to take root. If I replace all those racing thoughts with one focus, the rest of my body usually relaxes. In the morning, it sets the right tone for the day and helps calm my mind. At night, it relaxes my mind and encourages silence and calmness before going to sleep.
Tip: Deep breathing and redirecting your focus takes time and practice to perfect. If you find your mind still wandering or racing in the first days or weeks, try memorizing a short, encouraging affirmation or verse you can reflect on with each “in” and “out.” I’ll cover some great examples of affirmations below.
Choose a Fun Exercise (10-30 minutes)
Your chosen exercise could be a favorite walk or run at a nearby park, an at-home exercise session (there are a ton of free videos on YouTube), or anything fun that also gets you active (think Thursday-night dance lessons at a studio or bar). My favorite ways to exercise are going for a run and taking barre classes. Both help clear my mind, boost my confidence, and set me on the right path for the day.
Moving your body clears your mind and releases chemicals that can even make you feel happier and more confident.
Exercise also has a remarkably positive effect on your brain. According to Mayo Clinic, moving your body clears your mind and releases chemicals that can even make you feel happier and more confident.2
Tip: Planning regular activities with friends is a great way to create personal accountability for your exercise goals.
Speak Encouraging Affirmations (2-5 minutes)
Speaking affirmations is an empowering habit. When you feel overwhelmed, when you’re facing something new and terrifying, when negative thoughts are on an incessant loop in your mind, stop what you’re doing and affirm yourself. Here are a few examples you may find impactful in your own life:
- I value myself.
- I can [something you’re struggling to achieve] and I will.
- I will move forward in spite of my fears.
- I am capable of more than I realize.
- I am worthy of love and respect.
- I am worthy of thriving, not just surviving.
- I am not defined by my emotions.
Even if a certain statement doesn’t feel true, you can still know on an intellectual level that it is. Sometimes it’s also helpful to memorize quotes that speak an authentic and empowering message you can turn to over and over again.
Tip: I usually start my day with focusing on one affirmation in particular. I write it on a sticky note and put it on my bathroom mirror.
Keep a Gratitude Journal (5-10 minutes)
Taking five minutes to focus on gratitude can shift your mindset for the rest of the day. And in the midst of difficult change, it’s easy to miss the small moments of joy. Find a journal or notepad and keep it within reach of your bed. Then in the morning, instead of scrolling through Instagram or other social media, grab your notebook and write…
Today, I’m grateful for…
[Write 3 things you’re thankful for]
3 things that would make today great:
[List three things that would make your day awesome]
Mantra/intention for the day:
[Choose an affirmation, verse, or inspirational quote you want to guide your day. Bonus points if you schedule it as a reminder on your phone to pop up at key times. Or write it on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror.]
At the end of the day write…
3 positive things that happened today:
[List three things that made your day better than you thought it would be]
What would’ve made today better?
[Answer this honestly. It can be a good thing to focus on improving the next day]
Taking five minutes to focus on gratitude can shift your mindset for the rest of the day.
Keeping a gratitude journal is one of my best habits. It has helped me shift to a more positive mindset that is necessary for my mental health.
Tip: If the journaling prompts above feel like too much, start with writing 1 or 2 things you’re grateful for in the morning, and gradually work up to including another prompt each week.
Connect with a Friend (5-10 minutes)
Connection with others is powerful and can draw us out of ourselves, freeing our minds from the grip of stress, fear, worries, and doubts.
Stress and anxiety feed off isolation and fear. You can fight them off before they take hold by surrounding yourself with a small community you trust. Can you think of two or three people who lift you up and challenge you in healthy ways instead of bringing you down?
Stress and anxiety feed off isolation and fear.
Of course, not everyone can drop everything and go visit a friend (especially if they live much further than a drive away), so if you need to, call someone instead. Share what’s going on in your life, and then ask them how they’re doing. It’s easy to worry about burdening a friend with your “mess,” but it’s often sharing the hardest moments that brings people closer together.
Tip: In dark moments, even calling a friend can feel incredibly difficult. Text them instead and make plans to hang out or chat in the next week (even if it’s a virtual hangout). Give yourself something to look forward to.
Challenge: Do something spontaneous and fun.
When was the last time you did something that made you happy—not for the sake of productivity? It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of life and forget to prioritize authentic leisure. It’s even easier to forget or push it off if you’re dealing with change, anxiety, and stress.
If you don’t fill yourself with simple joys, you’ll be too empty to shower love and care on the people who need you most.
Carving out time for leisure can take much more effort and intention than the habits above, especially if you’re juggling babies or a full-time job (or both). But it’s so worth it, and it can be incredibly simple.
If you don’t fill yourself with simple joys, you’ll be too empty to shower love and care on the people who need you most.
Maybe it’s getting in the car and going for a drive while you play your favorite music. Maybe it’s going to the store and buying yourself a bouquet of your favorite flowers.
Maybe it’s finally buying that dress you’ve had your eye on for a month. For me, it’s getting out in nature, whether that’s going for a walk, taking a day trip up north, or going for a hike.
Whatever your stress reliever, commit to taking the time to do it. If you don’t fill yourself with simple joys, you’ll be too empty to shower love and care on the people who need you most. And if you’re navigating a difficult season, the stress that accompanies it can quickly become all-consuming.
So, for once, don’t worry about the “checklist” or about the “what ifs” to come. The minutes you spend treating yourself as a whole person, and not just a slave to the demands of life, are far more valuable than anything more “productive” you could accomplish in that same time.
Start small and grow
Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to relieve stress and anxiety in the face of unexpected change. You can do this, too! Managing anxiety is not always easy, and there is no perfect “quick fix,” but practice makes progress.
Expect to start small and grow into a healthier, more whole person from there. Things may seem difficult now, but your future is bright!