The Best Way to Tell Your Boss You're Pregnant

I found out I was pregnant the evening of Valentine’s Day. It was the middle of tax season, and I was anxiously awaiting the results of my CPA exams. Plus, I was up for promotion. To say I was nervous to break the news to my boss is the understatement of the tax season.

If you’re preparing to take the next step in your career and you don’t know what reaction to expect from your employer, breaking the news of your pregnancy can feel like a leap in the dark.

Luckily, there are simple steps you can take to walk into the conversation prepared and confident.

So, whether you’re excited to share the news or downright anxious, here are a few important things to consider before, during, and after your conversation.

Before the Conversation

Research your organization’s policy library.

The policy library is typically written by your company’s human resource professionals and attorneys. The policies are usually straightforward and outline the rights of both you and your employer.

Depending on who you work for, their policies should specify how long you have to work at the organization before maternity benefits “kick in.” What’s more, they should define whether your company offers paid or unpaid leave.

Unless you work specifically in a human resource department, don’t expect your boss to be fully versed on the organization’s maternity leave policies.

Therefore, equip yourself to go into the meeting with a general understanding of your company’s maternity policies beforehand. This is not only helpful for you, it shows your employer you’ve done your research.

Decide how far along you want to be.

It’s common to wait until after your first trimester to share the news, due to the risk of miscarriage in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.

But if you’re experiencing morning sickness or other more obvious symptoms, consider telling your boss earlier to take advantage of possible accommodations, like a flex-schedule or working from home. This can save both your sanity and the quality of your work.

I chose to wait until I was 14 weeks along before breaking the news at work. I had experienced spotting the weeks before and wanted reassurance from my doctor that the baby was okay. Thankfully, our little guy was totally fine!

Pick a time you won’t feel rushed

Once I received a clean bill of health from my doctor, I scheduled a time on my boss’ calendar to chat face to face.

If you’re feeling nervous, try picking a time when you won’t be rushed. I chose an afternoon meeting because my mornings are particularly busy.

Write down your desired maternity leave plan

Before your meeting, begin considering what you’re envisioning for your maternity leave. Even if it feels a little early in the process, write out your initial plan.

Don’t worry about having it all set in stone right now. It’s better to over prepare and have it not come up in your discussion with your boss, rather than the alternative.

Here are 10 questions to help you begin planning your leave:

1. What projects can I complete before going on leave?
2. What projects will probably need to be taken over by coworkers during my leave?
3. Who will take over those projects?
4. Will you help cross train others on your tasks before your leave?
5. How long do you plan to be on leave?
6. Will you request more or less time than what your company provides?
7. Does the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) apply to my leave?
8. When returning to work, do you plan on breastfeeding or pumping?
9. What do you expect from your employer?
10. What level of communication are you okay with during your leave? (Occasional emails, phone calls, none)

During the Conversation

Affirm your commitment to the company.

During your meeting, share why you genuinely love your job and how excited you are to be working on a certain project or team. Be enthusiastic, but be honest!

If you see yourself at the organization for a long time, help your boss see it too. It’s important for them to understand your commitment to the organization and your future there.

Depending on what feels most natural to you, discuss your commitment to the organization before or after you announce your pregnancy. I talked to my employer first about my excitement to be part of the company, and then I shared the exciting news: that I was pregnant and expecting a baby in October.

Explain your expectations for confidentiality.

After that, gage your boss's response. My employer was excited for me, wanted to know my due date, and asked my expectations in regard to confidentiality.

Because my husband and I hadn’t told anyone outside close friends and family, I asked her to keep it quiet until I had the opportunity to share with others.

Make sure to determine your expectations for confidentiality before your meeting. Unless your boss is your attorney, they are not legally bound to keep anything quiet, but they’re often very willing to respect your wishes.

So if they don’t ask, remember to explain how you would like this information shared—or not shared—within your organization.

Anticipate questions about current and future projects.

My boss didn’t ask about what I envisioned for my maternity leave, nor did she ask about handling the projects I’d been assigned in my absence. If your boss doesn’t ask you then and there, fully expect another discussion at some point on how you're preparing for your leave.

If your employer does ask, share with them your initial outline of your maternity leave plan. They’ll be impressed to see you’re taking responsibility and anticipating future needs.

After the Conversation

Sit down with Human Resources.

Because your boss may not be perfectly versed in the company's maternity leave policies, keep yourself informed by talking to the professionals.

After you meet with your employer, sit down with human resources. Like you did before, explain to HR how much you love your position and how much you look forward to thriving in it for a long time. If both your boss and HR are aware of your impending leave, you can rest assured you’ve covered your bases.

Depending on how your organization operates, the HR rep might not be in the office every day, or they may rotate in the region amongst other offices.

At my company, our HR professional rotates between a few different offices in the tri-state region. I sent her an email sharing that I was pregnant and asked if we needed to meet in person to discuss the firm’s leave policies for pregnant women—or if an email or phone call was sufficient.

My HR rep messaged me back, congratulating me, and sent a few links to look over with an invitation to reach out if I had questions while navigating my pregnancy at work.

Choose when to tell your coworkers.

Eventually, you will have to share the news with the rest of your team or office. Your coworkers will probably notice you showing up 30 minutes late, taking a longer lunch, or sneaking out early to race to one of your prenatal appointments. And if they don’t notice your frequent outings, it’s difficult to hide a growing baby bump.

I waited until I had discussed the situation with both HR and my boss. Rather than make an official work pregnancy announcement, I chose to share with a few close friends in my office as it came up.

Going for coffee runs can be more challenging if you're limiting your caffeine intake—I leaned heavily into this as an excuse for smoothies! It might also be nice for a few of your friends to know why you're sipping on cranberry juice instead of a cosmopolitan at the company happy hour.

The only pregnant employee at the office

Take comfort in the knowledge that many pregnant employees have navigated this before you, and many more will after you. Congratulations on joining the working mom world! If you’re struggling with being the only pregnant woman at your level in the company, I know how that feels.

The one thing my career coach shared that helped my uneasiness was this: “You will be able to show other young professionals your age that you can do both. It's challenging, but you will be able to say you did it.”

So begin researching, planning, and setting your expectations now. Show your boss your ability to take responsibility, express your commitment to the company, and prioritize the needs of your growing family.